The best communication jokes

Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed." Guest: "I'll make my own bed." Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
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has 83.05 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work
Two kids were talking together. First: "My daddy is so tall that he can touch the clouds in the sky with his hands." Second: "That is excellent. Does your daddy touch something soft and downy?" First: "Yes, of course." Second: "Those are my daddy's testicles."
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has 82.99 % from 543 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, dad, dirty, kids
Q: What is a difference between Ooooh and Aaaah? A: Only 3 inches.
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has 82.94 % from 349 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.
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has 82.86 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: communication
Me: "I love you." You: "Is that you or the wine talking?" Me: "It's me talking to the wine."
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has 82.69 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, mean, wine
I was sat with my wife while she sipped on her glass of wine, when she said, "I love you so much, you know. I don't know how I could ever live without you." I said, "Is that you or the wine talking?" She said, "It's me talking to the wine.
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has 82.69 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, mean, wife, wine
On the day of my big job interview I woke up late. Frantically I threw on a suit. "OH NO!" I thought. "MY TIE! My Dad was out of town and wasn't there to help me, and for the life of me, I did not know how to tie a tie!" I grabbed a tie and ran out the door. "Excuse me sir," I said to the crossing guard, "I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!" "Sure," said the guard, "just lie down on this bench." Well if someone was going to help me I wasn't going to ask any questions. After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down. "Well in my previous job I learned how to tie ties on other people when they were lying down." he replied. "What was your previous job?" I asked incredulously. "I ran a morgue." was the reply.
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has 82.51 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, time, work
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
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has 82.28 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean, sport, wife
Wife: "Give me some money. I want to buy a bra." Husband: "Why? You have nothing to put in it!" Wife: "You wear shorts!"
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has 82.02 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, marriage, mean, money
The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles. The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store. At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approached the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means to lay down a base of fire!). The Marines promptly laid down a base of the fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting. The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!"
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has 81.65 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, geography, military
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