The best communication jokes

Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter? A: You would think R but it is the C that love.
Vote:
has 81.69 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, pirate
A man gets the words 'I love you' tattoed to his penis. He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says, "Don't try to put words into my mouth!"
Vote:
has 81.55 % from 1078 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, love, wife
A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating." The teacher says, "No, I said, fascinate." Another little girl says, "There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life." The teacher again says, "No, the word is fascinate." Little Johnny yells from the back of the room, "My mom has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the 10 buttons on her shirt."
Vote:
has 81.54 % from 825 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, little Johnny, student, teacher
Two Italian men get on a bus... They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
Vote:
has 81.43 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: communication, ethnic, friendship, sex, vulgar
A young job applicant was being interviewed for an entry-level position. His prospective boss asked, "Are you a smoker?" "Not even a little," said the young man. "How about alcoholic beverages?" "Never touch 'em," he replied. The boss smiled and asked, "So you spend a lot of time with girls?" The applicant said, "No, not really." "So you don't have any vices?" "Well, I do have one," he admitted. "And what would that be?" the boss asked. "I tell lies."
Vote:
has 81.40 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, communication, drug, women, work
One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed. That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."
Vote:
has 81.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: communication, dentist, kids, money, religious
The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles. The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store. At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approached the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means to lay down a base of fire!). The Marines promptly laid down a base of the fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting. The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!"
Vote:
has 81.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, geography, military
Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy." Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman." Coincidence?
Vote:
has 80.86 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, women
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me.
Vote:
has 80.60 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, driving
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. "Give me a couple of steaks," he says. "We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher. "Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
Vote:
has 80.46 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, marriage, mean
<<<4567
More jokes →
Page 4 of 40.