The best communication jokes

Wife: "Give me some money. I want to buy a bra." Husband: "Why? You have nothing to put in it!" Wife: "You wear shorts!"
Vote: has 80.93 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, communication, marriage, mean, money
I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.
Vote: has 80.46 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, communication, mean, wife, wine
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
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More jokes about: communication, men, political, women
"I'm sorry for throwing red wine over all your dresses in the wardrobe last night," I told my girlfriend. "I've spent all day getting the stains out just to show how much you mean to me." "Oh, that's really nice," she said. "What did you use to remove the stains?" "Scissors," I replied.
Vote: has 80.46 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, mean, relationship, wine
Me using the Siri app on my iPhone: Me: "Siri, call my wife." Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts." Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife." Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife." Me: "Call my wife." Siri: "Which wife?"
Vote: has 80.44 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, phone, stupid, technology, wife
My girlfriend said she wanted a perfect holiday, so I had to stay home!
Vote: has 80.43 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, holiday, relationship
The barbershop was crowded, so the woman at the cash register offered to put my name on the waiting list. "What is it?" she asked. "Stephen, with a P-H," I said. Minutes later, a chair opened up, and my name was called: "Pheven?"
Vote: has 80.43 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, customer service, stupid
I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
Vote: has 80.43 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, fitness, gym, mean
A girl married with a man who had only one foot. Next day her mother rang her and asked: "My little tell me how did U feel the marriage?" Her daughter replied: "Woo real splendid; alas he has only one foot!" Her mom answered: "You must be too lucky, when I married your dad; he had only one inch!"
Vote: has 80.30 % from 105 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, family, sex, wedding
When I arrived at a hotel in order to fill in my identities I noticed the word "sex" so I wrote: YES PLEASE.
Vote: has 80.29 % from 117 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, customer service, sex, travel


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