The best communication jokes

I was sat with my wife while she sipped on her glass of wine, when she said, "I love you so much, you know. I don't know how I could ever live without you." I said, "Is that you or the wine talking?" She said, "It's me talking to the wine.
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has 81.25 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, mean, wife, wine
Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sex with them. One nun says "God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!" The second nun says "Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!"
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has 81.22 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, god, religious, sex
A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating." The teacher says, "No, I said, fascinate." Another little girl says, "There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life." The teacher again says, "No, the word is fascinate." Little Johnny yells from the back of the room, "My mom has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the 10 buttons on her shirt."
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has 81.19 % from 866 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, little Johnny, student, teacher
Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed." Guest: "I'll make my own bed." Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
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has 81.02 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work
I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.
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has 80.93 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, mean, wife, wine
Yo mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it said: "A.B.C.D.E.F.G get your fat ass off of me."
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has 80.87 % from 217 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, insulting, vulgar, Yo mama
Two kids were talking together. First: "My daddy is so tall that he can touch the clouds in the sky with his hands." Second: "That is excellent. Does your daddy touch something soft and downy?" First: "Yes, of course." Second: "Those are my daddy's testicles."
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has 80.86 % from 583 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, dad, dirty, kids
The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles. The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store. At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approached the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means to lay down a base of fire!). The Marines promptly laid down a base of the fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting. The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!"
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has 80.86 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, geography, military
Q: Famous last words of a bomb disposal expert? A: "Yes, the red wire."
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has 80.60 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, work
Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case. "Look," said one, "let's be honest with each other." "Okay, you first," replied the other. That was the end of the discussion.
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has 80.60 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer
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