The best communication jokes

I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
Vote:
has 84.26 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean, sport, wife
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, " ;because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because Im responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work... The ass hole is usually in charge.
Vote:
has 83.85 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, life, management, work
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
Vote:
has 83.60 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, old people
Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy." Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman." Coincidence?
Vote:
has 83.51 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, women
Q: Famous last words of a bomb disposal expert? A: "Yes, the red wire."
Vote:
has 83.45 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, work
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "Hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "Yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
Vote:
has 83.36 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, food
I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.
Vote:
has 83.36 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, mean, wife, wine
The barbershop was crowded, so the woman at the cash register offered to put my name on the waiting list. "What is it?" she asked. "Stephen, with a P-H," I said. Minutes later, a chair opened up, and my name was called: "Pheven?"
Vote:
has 83.18 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, stupid
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha­­! That's not going to help," she said. "Sure, it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Vote:
has 83.02 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat
Three women were debating about how wide their pussy are. The first one said: "When my husband makes sex he puts his penis and his testicles in my pussy." The second lady said: "Wooo when we are in bed my husband puts his hand and his arm in mine." It was the turn of the third woman that pointed to her pussy and said: Jimy; Jimy come out, please."
Vote:
has 82.94 % from 1192 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex, women
<<<2345
More jokes →
Page 2 of 45.