How do you know when an Asian breaks into your home? Your house is clean, your computer is fixed, and their still pulling out of your driveway.
The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
A man works in the operations department of a large bank. Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers. One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
Customer: “My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at a British comedy site.” Tech Support: “Yes, what is the problem?” Customer: “The ‘.uk’ at the end — doesn’t that stand for United Kingdom?” Tech Support: “Yes.” Customer: “Just great — I knew it! He’s in trouble now! He was there for almost a half hour! How much does AOL charge for long distance?” Tech Support: “It does not work that way. You can surf anywhere without long distance charges.” Customer: “No, I am sure AOL charges extra. It doesn’t make any sense that they wouldn’t. England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to.” After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL. A while later she called back. Customer: “Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites. I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL.” Tech Support: “Yes?” Customer: “Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?” Tech Support: “Trust me — they don’t.” Customer: “Wonderful! My oldest son works in Sweden. He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn’t know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone. This will save us lots of money! Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service.”
Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
How can yo tell if a black has been on you're computer? It's not there...
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
Chuck Norris finished Minecraft.
Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error! Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!