The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games.
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
Q. How do you know if a Asian robbed your house? A. Your HW is done , computer is upgraded, 2 hrs later lil f***er still tryin back off the driveway.
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer? A: This won't hurt a byte
Q:Why did the computer lose its trust relationship with the domain? A:Because it was corrupted in active directory and needed to be removed and re-added again!
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks.
Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach? No, you should do it on a computer.
Pull on a coworker is to press ctrl+print screen on their workstation, then paste it into Paint, save the pic, and set it as the desktop background. Move all of their icons to the trash. When they get back to their desk, clicking won't accomplish anything!
Yo mama's so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!