Q: Does your mum like shopping on the Internet?
A: No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.
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Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
Customer: “My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at a British comedy site.”
Tech Support: “Yes, what is the problem?”
Customer: “The ‘.uk’ at the end — doesn’t that stand for United Kingdom?”
Tech Support: “Yes.”
Customer: “Just great — I knew it!
He’s in trouble now!
He was there for almost a half hour!
How much does AOL charge for long distance?”
Tech Support: “It does not work that way.
You can surf anywhere without long distance charges.”
Customer: “No, I am sure AOL charges extra.
It doesn’t make any sense that they wouldn’t.
England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to.”
After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL.
A while later she called back.
Customer: “Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites.
I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL.”
Tech Support: “Yes?”
Customer: “Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?”
Tech Support: “Trust me — they don’t.”
Customer: “Wonderful!
My oldest son works in Sweden.
He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn’t know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone.
This will save us lots of money!
Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service.”
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
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The email server is unable to verify your server connection.
Your message has not been delivered.
Please restart your computer and try sending again.
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If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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Pull on a coworker is to press ctrl+print screen on their workstation, then paste it into Paint, save the pic, and set it as the desktop background.
Move all of their icons to the trash.
When they get back to their desk, clicking won't accomplish anything!
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Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
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Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
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