The best computer jokes

Jesus and the devil were arguing over which one of them was the better computer programmer. "I am!" Jesus shouted. "No, I am!" the devil countered. "I am!" "I am!" "Me!" "No, me!" "EEEEEEENOUGH!" God bellowed, and the whole universe disappeared into darkness. When the lights came back on, two computers were sitting in front of them. God said "Now, whoever makes the best computer program in twenty minutes wins." Jesus and the devil both sat down, typing and clicking furiously. This went on for about 15 minutes, but then there was a power failure, and everything went dark. When everything came back up again, the computer screens were both blank. The devil tried in vain to get back everything he had lost. He came up empty-handed. Jesus pressed one key and it all came back. The devil looked at him in astonishment. "No way! How did you do that?!" Jesus turned to him and smiled, and said "Everybody knows Jesus saves."
has 82.65 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: computer, god, life, programmer
Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
has 81.33 % from 615 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, technology
Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
has 81.13 % from 202 votes. More jokes about: April fools, computer, IT
I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.
has 81.09 % from 267 votes. More jokes about: computer, technology
Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.” Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?” Customer: “Netscape.” Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?” Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?” Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.” Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
has 80.63 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas." The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."
has 80.48 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: car, computer, IT, science
CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
has 80.37 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, time
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user... Help desk: Double click on "My Computer". Lady: I can't see your computer... Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer. Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?! Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it... Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?
has 80.37 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: computer, customer service, IT
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
has 80.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, money, technology
Put tape over the optical sensor of someone's mouse.
has 80.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: April fools, computer
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