The best computer jokes

I like my women how I like my laptop. Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.
has 74.94 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: computer, dirty, women
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
has 74.91 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: computer, food, IT, marriage, romantic
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
has 74.86 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, computer
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, programmer
Thers a Blonde at a computer trying to play a game and it says "press any key to begin" and shes looking at the computer trying to find the any key
has 72.18 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer, game
On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, programmer, technology
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
has 71.64 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, computer, IT, life, technology
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
has 71.36 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer
Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze. Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?” Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”
has 71.07 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
Why did the computer get cold? Because it forgot to close windows.
has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: computer, health, IT
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