The best computer jokes

A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
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More jokes about: age, computer, dad, IT, programmer
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
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More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer
I like my women how I like my laptop. Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.
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More jokes about: computer, dirty, women
Chuck Norris could play cd-based games on his Nintendo 64.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, game
After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: air force, computer, money, phone, wife
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
Vote: has 74.71 % from 113 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, food, IT, marriage, romantic
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
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More jokes about: celebrity, computer, IT, life, technology
Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, music, technology
Thers a Blonde at a computer trying to play a game and it says "press any key to begin" and shes looking at the computer trying to find the any key
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More jokes about: blonde, computer, game
Q: What do you call a computer expert? A: A control-alt-elite.
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More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, work