The best computer jokes

A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
has 78.62 % from 251 votes. More jokes about: age, computer, dad, IT, programmer
Put tape over the optical sensor of someone's mouse.
has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: April fools, computer
Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
has 78.17 % from 2949 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, computer, math, racist
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!" "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it!" "What about the PC?" "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys," "Which three?" "Control, Alt and Delete."
has 78.13 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, life, vulgar
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, money, technology
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
has 77.77 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, programmer
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
has 77.11 % from 420 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
has 76.73 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, life
Two computers in the same LAN chatting one night: PC1: I was having a nightmare last night, it was so horrible. PC2: Why, what did you dream about ? PC1: I was sleeping, dreaming 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 when all of a sudden a 2 popped up!
has 75.91 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
Why is a woman different from a PC? A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy.
has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: computer, women
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