The best computer jokes

Put tape over the optical sensor of someone's mouse.
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has 79.24 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: April fools, computer
A customer comes into the computer store. I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging." "Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Vista?"
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has 79.01 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: computer, customer service, game, IT
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!" "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it!" "What about the PC?" "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys," "Which three?" "Control, Alt and Delete."
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has 78.32 % from 175 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, life, vulgar
Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
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has 78.24 % from 3365 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, computer, math, racist
Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.” Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?” Customer: “Netscape.” Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?” Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?” Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.” Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
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has 78.23 % from 231 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
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has 77.73 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, programmer
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
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has 77.43 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, life
Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
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has 76.98 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: April fools, computer, IT
If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
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has 76.59 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, nerd, technology
Why is a woman different from a PC? A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy.
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has 76.51 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: computer, women
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