The best computer jokes

A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
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has 73.43 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer
Thers a Blonde at a computer trying to play a game and it says "press any key to begin" and shes looking at the computer trying to find the any key
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has 73.18 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer, game
Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
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has 72.34 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, music, technology
After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents.
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: air force, computer, money, phone, wife
Why did the computer get cold? Because it forgot to close windows.
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has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: computer, health, IT
Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze. Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?” Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”
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has 70.72 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common? A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, nerd, technology
The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better". So I installed LINUX.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT
A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home? 1st kid says, "A computer." Teacher replies "That'd be very useful" 2nd kid says "A new lawn mower." Teacher replies with a similar response... Little Johnny pops up and says, "At my house we don"t need anything." The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something... Little Johnny replies, "Nope, i'm sure of it. Whenever my sister started going out with a NIGGER, i remember my dad saying, "Well, thats the last f*cking thing we need."
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has 70.21 % from 295 votes. More jokes about: black people, computer, kids, racist, teacher
Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love. The first woman said, “My husband is a psychologist, and before we make love, he brings me flowers and candy. I like that.” The second woman proclaimed, “My husband is a mechanic, he makes love a little rough, but really tunes my engine; I like that!” The third woman replied, “Well my husband works for Microsoft and all he does is sit on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it’s going to be, when I finally get it…”
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, computer, husband, love
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