The best cop jokes

Gmail: Someone has signed into your account! Me: Yeah that was me Gmail: No it was on another device! Me: Yes my tablet Gmail: Someone stole your tablet?! Me: What? No! Gmail: Call the police
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has 58.38 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: cop, internet, IT
Knock knock. Who's there? FBI. FB… We are asking the questions here!
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has 58.35 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, knock-knock, mean
A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes.
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has 58.01 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: cop, dog
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
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has 57.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, drug, kids
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop
Officer: "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia." Man: "No wait! I can explain everything!"
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has 57.52 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: cop, IT
What's the difference between a police officer and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone else, you know it's been fired.
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has 57.46 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it." "Oh yes dear, what happened?" "I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks." "Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks! What did you do with them?" "Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: "Do you know where your going?" Blonde: "No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people are leaving.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
‘If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.’
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
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