Officer: "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia."
Man: "No wait! I can explain everything!"
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Gmail: Someone has signed into your account!
Me: Yeah that was me
Gmail: No it was on another device!
Me: Yes my tablet
Gmail: Someone stole your tablet?!
Me: What? No!
Gmail: Call the police
Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen?
O2.zip
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb?
A thyme machine.
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.
After looking the man over he says, "Sir,
I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot.
Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really indignant and says,
"Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed.
Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer?
A: This won't hurt a byte
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
Vote:
A boy speeding on road.
Guard stops him and ask, "Did you see the speed limit sign?"
The boy says, "Yea, I just didnt see you."
Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.
Vote:
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
A: Data
John was driving when a policeman pulled him over.
He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all.
I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations.
What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
John thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
Judi, sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him -- he's just a wise guy when he's drunk and stoned."
Brian from the back seat said, "I told you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"