Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she was pulled over for drunk driving and asked to walk a line, she said, "Which one?"
Q: What do u call a police officer that works in bed? A: A undercover cop.
"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says. "What? There's no such thing," she replied. "No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'" A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom. A few minutes later she comes out. "Wow, that was great!" She says. She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store. On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo. Well she's really enjoying herself. The car is swerving and she rolls through a red. She ends up getting pulled over by a cop. After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story. She explains about the magic dildo and the shop. The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
A man calls into the police station and says, "My wife is missing." The officer asks, "How long has she been gone?" "A month." "Why did you wait so long to report it?" "Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream, then I realized I didn’t have any clean clothes to wear."
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police." Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."
A cop stopped a drunk at about dawn. The cop asked, "Can you explain why you're out at this hour?" "If I could," the drunk said, "I'd be home by now!"
‘If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.’
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
There are 2 women getting ready to leave for work. The brunette gets in the driver's seat and the blonde gets in the passenger's seat. The brunette says: "We're late, so you watch out the back window for cops." As she speeds down the road she asks the blonde: "So, do you see any cops?" The blonde replies: "Yes!" The brunette says: "Are they behind us?" "Yes!" "Are they close?" "Yes!" "Are they going to stop us?" "I don't know!" "Well, are their lights on?" The blonde replies: "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...!
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window, "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"