The best cop jokes

Two truck drivers trying to drive under a bridge. Driver, "Oh no, the height of bridge is 2.7m and our truck is 3m." 2nd driver, "it's ok, just go, there is no cops around."
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop, life
There were three guys manhers, shaup and shed. They went for a drive, shed wanted to go to the store to pick up snacks for the ride. So shed went in the store. Twenty minutes passes they were getting impatient so manhers went in what's taking him so long. Minutes later a police officer went to him and asked his name he replied "shaup!" Police officer was startled what he said. Police said "where's your manners boy!". Shaup replied to the officer "he's inside picking up shed*
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop, food, time, travel
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window, "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
Vote:
has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cop, driving, women
A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then, we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar." "All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm drunk."
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, cop, death, drunk
A man fell out of a tenth-story window. He's lying on the ground with a big crowd around him. A cop walks over and says, "What happened?" The guy says, "I don't know, I just got here."
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: cop
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
Vote:
has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, drug, kids
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
Vote:
has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: cop, prison
A cop stops a man for running a stop sign and the subject gives the cop a lot of grief explaining that he did stop. After several minutes, the cop explained to the gentleman that he didn't stop, he just slowed down a little. The gentleman said 'Stop or slow down, what's the difference?'. The cop pulled the guy out of the car and worked him over for about a minute and then said, 'Would you like for me to stop or just slow down?'
Vote:
has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: cop
I got stopped by a police officer on the way here. He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: cop, fitness, flirt, mean
A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.
Vote:
has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: cop, hunting
<<<22232425
More jokes →
Page 22 of 41.