The best cop jokes

How does the LAPD play poker? Four clubs beat a king.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
A policeman stops two drunks and asks one, "Where do you live?" "Nowhere", the first drunk replied. "And where do you live?", he asks the other. "We're neighbours."
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
How is a police car like a women? It flashes and It usually has a d*ck in it.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: cop, women
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: cop, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area. The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, car, cop, party
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? A: A white guy can say "Hey Dad" and "Good morning officer".
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has 46.74 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: black people, communication, cop, racist, white people
This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over. "You got any I.D.?" the patrolman asked." "'Bout what?" the hillbilly replied.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cop
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
Two undercover police officers assigned to the organized crime unit were overlooking a bloody mob hit scene. The victim had six gun shot wounds to the back of the head. One cop looks at the other and utters, "Worst case of suicide I've ever seen."
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
Yo' Mama is so fat, when the cops see her on a street corner, they yell, "Hey you guys, break it up!"
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop, fat, Yo mama
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