The best cop jokes

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: cop, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Q: How many cops does it take to arrest a Mexican? A: Eight. One to carry him, the rest to carry his oranges.
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has 47.24 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: cop, mexican, racist
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area. The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, car, cop, party
This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over. "You got any I.D.?" the patrolman asked." "'Bout what?" the hillbilly replied.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cop
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were running from the cops when they came upon three empty sacks laying in front of a closed store. "Let's hide in these and the cops won't find us!" said the red head, and they each dove into the sacks. The brunet hid in one that said CAT. The red head hid in one that said DOG, and the blonde hid in one that said POTATOS. When the cops came by, they saw the bags and said: "Maybe they're in these sacks. Kick one of them." to the other. The other cop kicked the bag the brunet was in that said CAT and she said: "Meow!". So the cop kicked the second bag with the red head that said DOG. She said once kicked: "Woof!". So the cop moved on to the final sack that said POTATOS and kicked it. The blonde cried out: "Potatos!"
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, food, ginger
Two undercover police officers assigned to the organized crime unit were overlooking a bloody mob hit scene. The victim had six gun shot wounds to the back of the head. One cop looks at the other and utters, "Worst case of suicide I've ever seen."
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
Yo' Mama is so fat, when the cops see her on a street corner, they yell, "Hey you guys, break it up!"
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop, fat, Yo mama
There are 2 women getting ready to leave for work. The brunette gets in the driver's seat and the blonde gets in the passenger's seat. The brunette says: "We're late, so you watch out the back window for cops." As she speeds down the road she asks the blonde: "So, do you see any cops?" The blonde replies: "Yes!" The brunette says: "Are they behind us?" "Yes!" "Are they close?" "Yes!" "Are they going to stop us?" "I don't know!" "Well, are their lights on?" The blonde replies: "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...!
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, work
A drunk man was smoking drugs while driving. The policeman stop him and says, "Show me you ID?" The drunk man, "What drugs?"
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: cop, drug, drunk
A man calls into the police station and says, "My wife is missing." The officer asks, "How long has she been gone?" "A month." "Why did you wait so long to report it?" "Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream, then I realized I didn’t have any clean clothes to wear."
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has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: cop, marriage, wife
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