The best cop jokes

Crude & Rude Dude A man's driving happily along in his car when he's pulled over by the police. The policeman approaches him and asks "Have you been drinking Sir?" "Why?" asks the man, "have I got a fat chick in my car?"
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop
Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, sex, stupid, Yo mama
There are 2 women getting ready to leave for work. The brunette gets in the driver's seat and the blonde gets in the passenger's seat. The brunette says: "We're late, so you watch out the back window for cops." As she speeds down the road she asks the blonde: "So, do you see any cops?" The blonde replies: "Yes!" The brunette says: "Are they behind us?" "Yes!" "Are they close?" "Yes!" "Are they going to stop us?" "I don't know!" "Well, are their lights on?" The blonde replies: "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...!
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, work
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? A: A white guy can say "Hey Dad" and "Good morning officer".
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has 48.27 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: black people, communication, cop, racist, white people
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: bar, car, cop
If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, cop
How does the LAPD play poker? Four clubs beat a king.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
A policeman stops two drunks and asks one, "Where do you live?" "Nowhere", the first drunk replied. "And where do you live?", he asks the other. "We're neighbours."
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: cop, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A man calls into the police station and says, "My wife is missing." The officer asks, "How long has she been gone?" "A month." "Why did you wait so long to report it?" "Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream, then I realized I didn’t have any clean clothes to wear."
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has 46.90 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: cop, marriage, wife
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