The best customer service jokes

As I shopped, the following announcement came over the department store's PA system: "If someone here has a convertible with the top down, it just started raining. Towels are located in aisle five."
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has 80.88 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, customer service, weather
At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist's work. They finally went with mine. "I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral," I said. "No," said the boy. "Your painting's wider, so it'll cover three holes in our wall."
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has 80.86 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: customer service, kids
Christian Doctor: "Your recovery was a miracle!" Christian Patient: "Thank God! Now I don't have to pay you."
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has 80.60 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: christian, customer service, doctor, money
A passenger piled his luggage on the scale at an airline counter in New York and said to the ticket agent: "I'm flying to Los Angeles. I want the large bag sent to Denver and the two small ones to Cincinnati." "I'm sorry sir, but we can't do that," said the ticket agent. "That's good to hear because that's where they ended up the last time I flew this route."
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has 80.52 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: airplane, customer service, geography, travel
Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!" Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."
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has 80.19 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, vulgar
Seventy-five-year-old Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for his wife for Women's Day. Upon passing a lingerie store, Marvin realizes that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life. He gets the idea to buy his wife something sexy to make her feel good and young. Marvin goes into the store and tells the clerk to wrap up the most expensive, sheerest negligee she has. Marvin takes the gift and excitedly runs home to his wife. Upon finding her in the kitchen he tells her to take the gift upstairs and unwrap it. He'll wait in the kitchen. His wife thanks him and goes up to the bedroom. Once the package is opened she realizes that this is something she's never had before. She also sees that it is so sheer it leaves nothing to the imagination. She thinks for a moment and then decides that she'll really surprise Marvin and go downstairs without any clothes on at all. So she leaves the negligee on the bed and starts down the stairs stark naked. She calls out: "Marvin, come out to the hallway and look." Marvin walks out to the staircase, looks up at his wife, and exclaims: "All that money and they didn't even iron it?!"
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has 79.77 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: age, customer service, money, old people, wife
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user... Help desk: Double click on "My Computer". Lady: I can't see your computer... Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer. Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?! Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it... Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?
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has 79.63 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: computer, customer service, IT
A customer comes into the computer store. I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging." "Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Vista?"
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has 79.35 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: computer, customer service, game, IT
There are two essential rules to management. First, the customer is always right. Second, they must be punished for their arrogance.
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has 78.86 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: customer service, management, mean
A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. "Sure," I said, "as long as you provide your own kennel." I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. The customer was flummoxed: "I'll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!"
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has 78.55 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: airplane, communication, customer service, dog, stupid
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