A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but, wanting to make sure each bulb worked, she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up. "Great," she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed. "I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened."
Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. Once, a man asked how much a record cost. My coworker quoted him the price, then added, "But there's a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records."
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"
Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light-bulb? A: Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.
An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for relief. After a search, I found what I was looking for: a selection of heating pads specifically for people with back pain—all on the bottom shelf.
Don't get upset if I ask you where something is in Target when you choose to wear a red shirt and khakis to shop.
A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him: He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room. I explained that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. "Don't lie to me," he said. "I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
When my customer ordered iced tea, I asked, "Sweetened or unsweetened?" Her answer: "What's the difference?"
The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water. I decided to tell the waitress. "This soup is awful," I said. "I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."