The best doctor jokes

A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
Vote:
has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, doctor, medical, sex
One day a Blonde went the doctor with a burn on her stomach. The doctor gasped and asked what happened. the Blonde told the doctor she put a lighter against her stomach. The doctor asked her why in the world she would do that. the blond said "I was trying to burn calories."
Vote:
has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
Vote:
has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life, time
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!” The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?” “No, I drove here.”
Vote:
has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor
There was a guy that was sick he went to the doctor and said "Doctor I have a fever”" The doctor said, "you will have to take 4 spoons of the medicine." The sick one said, "but doctor, I only have 3 spoons what shall I do?"
Vote:
has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, life
The sexologist to Johny: "let´s talk about sex!" Johny: "I have no idea."
Vote:
has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, little Johnny, sex
A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, "You have acute appendicitis." The blond yelled at the doctor... "A cute appendicitis! I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"
Vote:
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, medical, stupid
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?" "Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer. On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account. That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.
Vote:
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, medical, money, party
Doctor: "You have trouble with your throat? Have you ever gargled with salt water?" Patient: "Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming."
Vote:
has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she visits the doctor, they need a forklift to get her on the examining table.
Vote:
has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: doctor, fat, Yo mama
<<<27282930
More jokes →
Page 27 of 32.