The best doctor jokes

A man who recently had a sex-change operation was talking to his former buddies at work about the operation. "Was it painful?" someone asked. "Well,"she said. "There was one part that was extremely painful." "I bet I know what part was so painful," someone else said. "I bet it was when they cut off your balls," they said. "No," she said. "I was heavily sedated and didn't feel a thing." "Then it must have been when they cut off your pecker," another person offered. "No," she said. "I was sedated then too, and didn't feel anything." "Then what part of the operation was so painful?" They wanted to know. "Well," she said. "After they were done cutting, they stuck a straw in my ear and sucked out half of my brains."
Vote: has 39.12 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, sex, work
Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams inagony. She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, doctor, health
A blonde comes to a doctor and complains: Doc, please help: when I touch my head - it hurts, when I touch my belly - it hurts, when I touch my leg - it hurts... I know what has happened to you. And what? You've broken your finger.
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, doctor
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, drug, memory
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, blonde, doctor
A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
Vote: has 34.12 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, women
Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die." Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
Vote: has 34.09 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor
A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature ejaculation. "Can you do anything to help me, Doc?" said the man. "No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span" replied the doctor.
Vote: has 33.55 % from 118 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, sex
"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor." "But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
Vote: has 33.50 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, school