The best doctor jokes

Coming home after check-up, 45 year old Jenna said to her husband: "The doctor said that my brust is like a 20 year old girl’ brust." Husband replied: "Did he mention about your 45 year old hanged to the floor ass?" "No", she said. "Your name wasn’t even mentioned."
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, marriage
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. “How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her. “Well, I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied. “What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?” “No silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.” “So then?” asked the doctor. “Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.” “So then?” “Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, doctor, money
Patient: "Doctor, I have to ask a personal question, if you don’t mind. Why do you charge fees much lower than other doctors?" Doctor: "You see, I am not a M.B.B.S. I am only a B.Sc."
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, money
There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick. He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed: Have you been doing anything unusual? And he said: No. So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks. So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked: Have you been doing anything at all unusual? And the guy said: Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
Vote: has 41.41 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food
Knock, Knock! Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? That's a great TV show, isn't it?
Vote: has 40.39 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, knock-knock
A Kentuckian entered the US Army and was in his first week of basic training. He lived in the back hills and was not used to the modern amenities. On the first day, he was issued a comb. On the second day they sent him to the barber to cut off his hair. On the third day he was issued a toothbrush and toothpaste. On the fourth day he was sent to the dentist and they pulled ten of his teeth. On the fifth day he was issued an athletic supporter. On the sixth day he went AWOL.
Vote: has 40.09 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, military
Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die." Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor
Q:Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell. A: Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, life, school, work
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, men
An old man tells his psychiatrist that he is already very old and he has committed during his life many sins. The psychiatrist wanted to help him, so he has asked him: "And how long are you with your wife?" The man answered: "45 years." The psychiatrist said: "Don´t have the fear, because after your death you will be surely added to the sufferers, sleep well."
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, life, marriage, old people, time