The best doctor jokes

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, "You have acute appendicitis." The blond yelled at the doctor... "A cute appendicitis! I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, medical, stupid
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, doctor
Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ? Doctor: I deal with you later.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
A medical student is driving home on a narrow country road in the middle of the night after his shift in the hospital. The weather is terrible. It's raining cats and dogs. Suddenly a motorbike is screaming by with very high speed. "Jesus Crhist! What an idiot! He will crash if he doesn't slow down!" A few minutes later he spotted in his headlights on the side of the road the torn up motorbike against a big tree. He stopped and quickly jumped out of his car to see in he can give first aid. But it's to late. The biker is already dead. He looked around if there is anyone around. Nobody to see. The student thouhgt "This is the oppertunity to finally obtain a real human eye!" He always carryrna spoon and a glass eye in his pocket for an opperunity like this. He quickly removes the left eye and places the glass eye in the socket. One quick look around and he jumps in his car and races off. The next morning when he wakes up he turned on the tv and watches the news. It said: "Biker found dead on country road with 2 glass eyes."
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has 45.89 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: doctor, hospital, school, time, travel
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade." "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?" "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Coming home after check-up, 45 year old Jenna said to her husband: "The doctor said that my brust is like a 20 year old girl’ brust." Husband replied: "Did he mention about your 45 year old hanged to the floor ass?" "No", she said. "Your name wasn’t even mentioned."
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, marriage
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf. Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: doctor, golf, sport
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, women
Q: What kind of doctor does a duck visit? A: A Ducktor.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, duck
Lately, I was by the urologist. He examined me but he did not tell me the truth into my eyes.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, medical
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