Yo' Mama is so fat, when she visits the doctor, they need a forklift to get her on the examining table.
A blonde was having sharp pains in her side.
The doctor examined her and said, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blond yelled at the doctor...
"A cute appendicitis!
I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!”
The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?”
“No, I drove here.”
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ?
Doctor: I deal with you later.
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through.
The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?"
The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
Vote:
Woman delivers baby.
Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc.
Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?"
Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."
"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?"
"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
Coming home after check-up, 45 year old Jenna said to her husband: "The doctor said that my brust is like a 20 year old girl’ brust."
Husband replied: "Did he mention about your 45 year old hanged to the floor ass?"
"No", she said. "Your name wasn’t even mentioned."
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.
Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?