The best doctor jokes

A 90 year old women goes to the doctor. Dr i can't stop farting, sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more. Well take these pills every day and come back in a week. Dr what did you do to me not only am i still farting now they smell as well! Oh very well , now about your hearing...
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, doctor, drug, old people
Man: When I bend my arm like this it hurts? Doctor: Well, stop doing it!
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, life
A patient to his friend: "I am taking rest cure." Friend: "What do you do?" Patient: "I sit every day for three hours in the waiting room of a very busy doctor."
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, life
Doctor: "You have trouble with your throat? Have you ever gargled with salt water?" Patient: "Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming."
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, life
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she visits the doctor, they need a forklift to get her on the examining table.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, fat, Yo mama
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Vote: has 50.69 % from 64 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, doctor, hospital
A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him: - Do you smoke? - No. - Do you drink? - No. - Do you eat fast food? - No. - Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, doctor, life
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer." "Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!" God replies, "You better send them up here immediately." Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them." God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you." Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Vote: has 49.95 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, doctor, god, lawyer, teacher
A man with pain on his right knee consulted his doctor. Doctor said: "It is nothing to worry about. It is due to old age." Patient: "The left knee is of the same age. But how is it that leg does not pain?"
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, doctor, old people
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!” The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?” “No, I drove here.”
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, doctor


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