The best doctor jokes

Doctor to patient: "Why are you nervous?" Patient: "Because this is the first item I am going to have An operation." Doctor: "But I am not nervous though this is going to be my first operation."
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, doctor
An old man tells his psychiatrist that he is already very old and he has committed during his life many sins. The psychiatrist wanted to help him, so he has asked him: "And how long are you with your wife?" The man answered: "45 years." The psychiatrist said: "Don´t have the fear, because after your death you will be surely added to the sufferers, sleep well."
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, life, marriage, old people, time
There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick. He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed: Have you been doing anything unusual? And he said: No. So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks. So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked: Have you been doing anything at all unusual? And the guy said: Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
Vote: has 41.52 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, blonde, doctor
A Kentuckian entered the US Army and was in his first week of basic training. He lived in the back hills and was not used to the modern amenities. On the first day, he was issued a comb. On the second day they sent him to the barber to cut off his hair. On the third day he was issued a toothbrush and toothpaste. On the fourth day he was sent to the dentist and they pulled ten of his teeth. On the fifth day he was issued an athletic supporter. On the sixth day he went AWOL.
Vote: has 40.09 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, military
Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die." Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor
Q:Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell. A: Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, life, school, work
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, men
A blonde comes to a doctor and complains: Doc, please help: when I touch my head - it hurts, when I touch my belly - it hurts, when I touch my leg - it hurts... I know what has happened to you. And what? You've broken your finger.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, doctor
A famous boxer must be operated by appendicitis. From the operation room the doctor gets out holding himself to the walls with a bruised eye and says: A can’t do this anymore! I try to anesthetize him, I count until 9 and he gets up and starts punching me...
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, sport


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