Joke #1920

A Kentuckian entered the US Army and was in his first week of basic training. He lived in the back hills and was not used to the modern amenities. On the first day, he was issued a comb. On the second day they sent him to the barber to cut off his hair. On the third day he was issued a toothbrush and toothpaste. On the fourth day he was sent to the dentist and they pulled ten of his teeth. On the fifth day he was issued an athletic supporter. On the sixth day he went AWOL.
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has 41.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: doctor, military

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A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."
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has 85.07 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: doctor, military
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir."
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has 67.39 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, doctor, military, navy
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
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has 60.35 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: doctor, military, women
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor
Old doctors never die, they just lose their patience.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: doctor, old people
Which month do soldiers hate most? March!
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has 63.53 % from 1171 votes. More jokes about: military
The aged patient doddered into the doctor’s office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you’ve got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "Thats what I mean, you’ve got to lower it a little."
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has 61.36 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, sex
Two doctors opened an office in a small town. They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology." The town council was not too happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to: "Hysterias and Posteriors." This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids." No go! Next they tried "Catatonics and Colonics" Thumbs down again. Then came, "Manic-Depressives and Anal-Retentives." But is was still not good! So they tried: "Minds and Behinds" "Analysis and Anal Cysts" "Nuts and Butts" "Freaks and Cheeks" "Loons and Moons" "Lost Souls and Ass Holes" None worked. Almost at their wits' end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be accepted by the council: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Odds and Ends." APPROVED!
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has 72.49 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, work
Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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has 75.40 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, death, doctor
Two Generals were preparing for battle. The first General calls his aide and says "Bring me my red uniform!" The other General asks why he would wear a red uniform. The first General explains that if he gets wounded then his soldiers won't see the blood and lose their courage. The other General thinks about this, then calls to his aide "Bring me my brown uniform!"
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has 82.62 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: dirty, health, military, stupid, war