The best dog jokes

A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter. She decides that it won't matter and continues to make the cake. Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don't even notice the BBs. The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!" She says "That's okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine." Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." But the mother cuts him off and she says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you'll be fine." Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." And the mother cuts him off and says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It's my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you'll be fine." But then son says, "No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"
Vote: has 75.57 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, dog, food, masturbation
I am a dog And you are a flower. I lift my leg up And give you a shower.
Vote: has 75.29 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, dog, poems
My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dog, kids, life
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
Vote: has 73.69 % from 323 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog
A boy went into a hoare house and said he wanted an AIDS's infected prostitute. The woman at reception said room 9 top of the hall. He went to the room and did his business.When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her she being aids infected. The boy answered,"When I go home i'll sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with my mam then in the morning my mam will fuck the milkman and thats the BASTARD that ran over my dog.
Vote: has 73.10 % from 637 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, business, dad, dog, sex
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"
Vote: has 73.02 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog
Teacher: Ramu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? Ramu: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
Vote: has 72.81 % from 419 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, school, teacher
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please". The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bartender, dog
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."
Vote: has 72.27 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, lawyer, life