The best dog jokes

This guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the mutt replies. "So, what's your story?" The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "Ten dollars." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?" The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, animal, dog, money, work
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
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More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog
One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the carriage and said, “See the doggy?” Suddenly I felt foolish talking to my baby as if she understood me. However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his dog, and said, “See the baby?”
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, dog
I've trained my dog to bring me red wine. It's a Bordeaux collie.
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More jokes about: alcohol, dog, wine
Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals? A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: democrat, dog, political, vulgar
I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dog
Q: Why do dogs lick their balls? A: Because they can. Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches? A: Same reason.
Vote: has 62.30 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, dog
Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls? A: To get the taste of negro out of thier mouths
Vote: has 60.70 % from 180 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, dog
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, fart, insulting, Yo mama