The best dog jokes

Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common? A: Wet noses.
Vote:
has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, dog
One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the carriage and said, “See the doggy?” Suddenly I felt foolish talking to my baby as if she understood me. However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his dog, and said, “See the baby?”
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, dog
I've trained my dog to bring me red wine. It's a Bordeaux collie.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dog, wine
A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
Vote:
has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, disgusting, dog, food, marriage
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Vote:
has 61.49 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids, travel
Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant? A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: dog, food, winter
Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?" "No, my dog doesn't bite." The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously. A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, "Hey, you said your dog doesn't bite!" The shop clerk shrugs, "He doesn't. But that wasn't my dog."
Vote:
has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: customer service, dog, men
Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals? A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!
Vote:
has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: democrat, dog, political, vulgar
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
Vote:
has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer? A lot of bites.
Vote:
has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, IT
<<<78910
More jokes →
Page 7 of 13.