The best dog jokes

Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Vote: has 58.52 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dirty, dog, love, sex
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when she walks the dog, they both use the same bush.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, Yo mama
I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dog
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, dog, phone
To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
Vote: has 56.22 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, dog, poems, winter
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
Vote: has 55.68 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, death, dog
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
Vote: has 55.00 % from 115 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, dog, game, morbid
Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner." Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
Vote: has 54.10 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, marriage