What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Wife: "There is something wrong with you." Me: "What a thing to say just before our dog's first salsa lesson."
Q: Why do dogs lick their balls? A: Because they can. Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches? A: Same reason.
Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls? A: To get the taste of negro out of thier mouths
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when she walks the dog, they both use the same bush.
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes.