The best dog jokes

A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.” The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!” “Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.” “Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!” “Right I’ll give you three choices… 1 You come fishing with me and the dog… 2 You give me a BLOW JOB…. 3 or you take it up the ass!” The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!” “Wife I’ve given you three options.. You’ll HAVE to do one of them! I’m going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!” The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, “Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?” The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, “O.K. I’ll give you a blow job!” “Great!” He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, “Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting… It tastes all shitty!” “Yes!” says her husband “The dog didn’t want to go fishing either.”
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has 60.35 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, fish, husband, wife
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, dog, love, sex
To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
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has 58.86 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, dog, poems, winter
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dog, fart, insulting, Yo mama
Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls? A: To get the taste of negro out of thier mouths
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has 56.97 % from 211 votes. More jokes about: black people, dog
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when she walks the dog, they both use the same bush.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: dog, Yo mama
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
Q: Why do dogs lick their balls? A: Because they can. Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches? A: Same reason.
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has 56.57 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog, food
Wife: "There is something wrong with you." Me: "What a thing to say just before our dog's first salsa lesson."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dog, marriage, wife