The best dog jokes

Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
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has 53.78 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: dog, fart, insulting, Yo mama
I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
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has 52.96 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: animal, birthday, dog, food
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
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has 52.05 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, dog, love, sex
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
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has 51.52 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, dog, game, morbid
Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.
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has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dog, wife, women
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog, food
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying." The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else". The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time". The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door. As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says "DiMaggio?".
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, dog
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
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has 49.58 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, marriage, wife