The best dog jokes

A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying." The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else". The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time". The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door. As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says "DiMaggio?".
Vote:
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, dog
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
Vote:
has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dog, phone
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
Vote:
has 52.11 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, dog, game, morbid
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
Vote:
has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog, food
Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant? A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: dog, food, winter
I have got a new dog. We have trained together for two months and imagine, after these two months I was able to reach him my paw and managed even barking around on command. My dog can be proud of myself.
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: dog, time
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.
Vote:
has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dog, fart, insulting, Yo mama
Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner." Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."
Vote:
has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.
Vote:
has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dog, wife, women
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
Vote:
has 48.79 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, marriage, wife