The best dog jokes

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
Vote: has 55.93 % from 75 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, death, dog
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common? A: Wet noses.
Vote: has 55.51 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, doctor, dog
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Vote: has 54.77 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dirty, dog, love, sex
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
Vote: has 54.62 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, marriage
Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner." Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Vote: has 53.46 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying." The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else". The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time". The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door. As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says "DiMaggio?".
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, dog
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
Vote: has 51.27 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog, marriage, wife
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
Vote: has 51.18 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, dog, food, morbid