This woman was driving home in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
She stopped the car and asked the woman if she'd like a ride.
The woman thanked her and got in the car.
After a few minutes, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag on the back seat and asked the driver what was in the bag.
The driver said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."
The Navajo woman thought for a moment, then said, "Good trade."
"Are you two twins?"
"No, why do you ask?"
"Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes."
"OK that's enough, your driver's license please."
A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes.
When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, "I got cold so I turned off the big fan!"
Two Yankee boys were driving through the South and was stopped by a State Trooper.
The trooper walked up to the open driver’s window, reached in, and slapped the driver on the side of his head.
"What did you do that for?" the driver asked.
"I don’t know how yall do it up north but here in Alabama, you have your drivers license ready when I walk up to the car."
The trooper took the license when it was offered, walked back to his unit and then returned the license to the driver.
He then walked around to the passenger side of the car and tapped on the window.
When the passenger rolled the window down, the trooper reached in and slapped the passenger on the side of the head.
"What did you do that for?" asked the startled passenger.
"Well," responded the trooper, "I didn’t want you to be disappointed. You’ll get about two miles down the road and then say, 'I wish that redneck woulda tried that with me!'"
Two fish are sitting in a tank.
One looks over at the other and says: "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"
Q: What did the farmer say when he is driving down the road on a steep hill and his right front wheel falls off?
A: "You picked a poor time to leave me loose wheel."
Vote:
A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can't pay for a cab to return to the airport.
He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines.
The next year the man returns to Vegas and get filthy rich when he decides to leave for the airport.
There is a huge line of cabs, and at the very end of this line was the very driver who never gave him a ride the previous year.
The man walks up to the front cab "Excuse me, sir if you give me a free ride to the airport I'll let you give me a handjob."
The driver declines immediately.
The man then asks all the drivers in this line the same thing.
When he gets to the last driver, he pays the fee and the cab driver begins moving, when he moved by the line, the man puts two thumbs up through the window so all the other drivers could see.
COP: "When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least."
LADY: "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old.”
Yo Momma so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide.
Yo mama's so poor, I was driving with her and she parked next to a garbage can.
I asked, "What're you doing?"
She said: "I'm booking us a hotel!"