A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist." The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!
Q: What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public? A: A private tooter.
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?
Q: What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar? A: A love call.
Confucius say, man who fart in church sit in own pew.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.