Q: What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public?
A: A private tooter. 
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A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda."
The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'"
"No," the guy says. "My farts do."
So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside.
After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist."
The guy says, "Why a dentist?"
The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth."
The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?"
The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
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Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted?
A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Yo mamas so fat that she fought a war with her own farts.
Yo mama so fat she the one that caused global warming when she farted.
Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
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Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!
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Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
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Confucius say, man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Q: What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar?
A: A love call.