Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag? A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Yo mama farts so much there is a reason why Jupiter is made out of gas.
There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart? Her ears flap.
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
Why do women fart after they take a piss? Because they can't shake it, so they blow dry it.
Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink. If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
Q: What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public? A: A private tooter.