The best fart jokes

Teacher asks Little Johnny to use the word 'definitely' in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny," To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely shit my pants then..."
Vote: has 80.74 % from 439 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, little Johnny, teacher
Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 79.96 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do farts smell? A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.
Vote: has 77.36 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

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Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower. When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Tom, "I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!" Paul looks at the wall and says "What are you talkng about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"
Vote: has 77.26 % from 111 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, gay, love, sex
A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce." On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce." The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
Vote: has 77.20 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, money, women
Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels!
Vote: has 75.96 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart
regular ass (_!_) fat ass (__!__) tight ass (!) flat ass (_._) bubble ass (_^_) sore ass (_*_) lop-sided ass (_!__) swishy ass {_!_} surprised ass (_o_) ass that's been around (_O_) kiss my ass (_x_) leave my ass alone (_X_) tired ass (_zzz_) wise ass (_o^o_) unlucky ass (_13_) money out the ass (_$_) dumb ass (_?_)
Vote: has 74.36 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board, and I'll sit on the couch while drinking beer and farting.
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, fart, husband, life, wife
Yo mamas so fat when she farted she caused global warming!
Vote: has 73.48 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, Yo mama
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, fart, parrot