The best fart jokes

Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words? Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time." Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence." Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
Vote: has 68.64 % from 151 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, fart, little Johnny, teacher
Yo mama is so fat when she farts its noise is just a nightingale.
Vote: has 68.44 % from 150 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bird, fart, fat, Yo mama
Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels!
Vote: has 68.01 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart
Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
Vote: has 66.87 % from 189 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart, fat, sex, Yo mama
Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Vote: has 66.18 % from 265 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, fart, sex
Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting. Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.” So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him. Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere.” The others nod and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping. He states, “Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call.” So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air. When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth.” The others nod, and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fart. He looks up at the others staring at him and says, “Somebody get me a piece of paper… I’m receiving a FAX."
Vote: has 66.16 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, celebrity, fart, IT, phone
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning. Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, family, fart, nurse, old people
If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
Vote: has 64.52 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death, fart, parrot
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-ass jeans.
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, fat, insulting, Yo mama


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