The best fart jokes

My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
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has 67.79 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, disgusting, fart, mother in law, war
Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting. Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.” So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him. Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere.” The others nod and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping. He states, “Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call.” So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air. When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth.” The others nod, and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fart. He looks up at the others staring at him and says, “Somebody get me a piece of paper… I’m receiving a FAX."
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: business, celebrity, fart, IT, phone
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words? Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time." Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence." Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
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has 67.23 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, fart, little Johnny, teacher
Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
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has 66.61 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, fat, sex, Yo mama
Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food, single
Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
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has 66.18 % from 265 votes. More jokes about: age, fart, sex
What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems. This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy. There is only one side effect. That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, disgusting, fart, sex
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-ass jeans.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: fart, fat, insulting, Yo mama
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