Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words? Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time." Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence." Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
Yo mama is so fat when she farts its noise is just a nightingale.
Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
Never hold in a fart; that's something an asshole would do.
If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.
Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.