The best fart jokes

The preschool teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?" Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!" The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence? Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue." "That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white." Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too." Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?" The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?" Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely sh*t my pants."
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has 70.96 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: fart, little Johnny, teacher
I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: fart, hipster
Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower. When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Tom, "I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!" Paul looks at the wall and says "What are you talkng about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"
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has 69.67 % from 236 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, gay, love, sex
My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
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has 69.66 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, disgusting, fart, mother in law, war
Yo mama is so fat when she farts its noise is just a nightingale.
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has 69.23 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: bird, fart, fat, Yo mama
One night my mother in law came to our home. In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC. She farted. I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"
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has 69.00 % from 517 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, mother in law, terrorist, war
Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
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has 68.97 % from 241 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, fat, sex, Yo mama
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words? Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time." Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence." Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
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has 68.22 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, fart, little Johnny, teacher
Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: dad, disgusting, fart
Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels!
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has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: fart
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