The best fart jokes

Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words? Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time." Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence." Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
Vote: has 72.58 % from 137 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, fart, little Johnny, teacher
Yo mama is so fat when she farts its noise is just a nightingale.
Vote: has 72.41 % from 132 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, fart, fat, Yo mama
Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.
Vote: has 72.19 % from 211 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, god, insulting, money, Yo mama
An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy. Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face. "Holy cow! What's that smell?" "I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?" "Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
Vote: has 71.97 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, Christmas, fart, life
The preschool teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?" Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!" The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence? Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue." "That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white." Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too." Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?" The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?" Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely sh*t my pants."
Vote: has 71.82 % from 113 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, little Johnny, teacher
Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board, and I'll sit on the couch while drinking beer and farting.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, fart, husband, life, wife
Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
Vote: has 71.19 % from 165 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, fat, sex, Yo mama
A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce." On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce." The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
Vote: has 71.16 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, money, women
Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 70.55 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fart
A man farts in bed next to his wife. His wife asks, "What in the world was that?" He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing." She decides to get even, so she lets one loose. He yells at her, "What was that?" She replies, "Touchdown, tie score." He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."
Vote: has 70.45 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, sport, wife