The best fart jokes

Once upon a time, there was a very happy, long-married couple who ran a small farm. They loved each other and all, there was just one problem – the guy farted incredibly, and enjoyed ripping seriously loud ones in bed especially. The wife complained for years, pleaded – in vain. "One day, you'll spill your guts out, you mark my words!" was the lady's frequent closing warning. Then one Thanksgiving morning, gutting the turkey, she had a stroke of genius. She took all the turkey's guts and went to their bedroom and quietly slipped them under the still sleeping man's covers. "That'll teach him!" she thought with satisfaction and went back to her work. At 10 the man was still nowhere to be seen – quite shocking for a farmer – and she was starting to worry when finally her husband came down – walking a little strange, wearing an even stranger expression. "You were right about the farting, Ida," he panted, "I'm ashamed to admit that I did fart my guts out. But with the help of our Lord and these two fingers, all is right again!"
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, disgusting, fart, Thanksgiving, time
Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.
Vote: has 74.09 % from 244 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, god, insulting, money, Yo mama
One night my mother in law came to our home. In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC. She farted. I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"
Vote: has 73.18 % from 393 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart, mother in law, terrorist, war
Never hold in a fart; that's something an asshole would do.
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart
When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me. First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her. Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
Vote: has 72.33 % from 156 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, fart, love
Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water? A: Swimmers are farting.
Vote: has 72.26 % from 119 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart, sport
A man farts in bed next to his wife. His wife asks, "What in the world was that?" He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing." She decides to get even, so she lets one loose. He yells at her, "What was that?" She replies, "Touchdown, tie score." He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."
Vote: has 71.88 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart, sport, wife
Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 71.53 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fart
Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, fart, marriage, mean, sex
Yo mamas so fat when she farted she caused global warming!
Vote: has 71.16 % from 66 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, Yo mama


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