The best fart jokes

My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
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has 74.96 % from 244 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, disgusting, fart, mother in law, war
Things Your Wife Won't Say: The smell of beer on your breath drives me wild. I'm bored. Let's shave the p***y. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. Let's get a good porno movie, a case of beer, and make an afternoon of it. God, if I don't blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust! I only signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head. Let's subscribe to Hustler. Let's take pictures so your friends will believe you. Honey, our neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again. Come see! Awesome fart! Do another one!
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has 74.69 % from 263 votes. More jokes about: beer, fart, marriage, wife
When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me. First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her. Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
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has 74.50 % from 308 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, fart, love
Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
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has 74.48 % from 312 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, fat, sex, Yo mama
A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems. This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy. There is only one side effect. That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
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has 74.21 % from 211 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, disgusting, fart, sex
This man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies that he used the "F-word" over the weekend. The priest says, "Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language." The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-word". The priest sighs and tells him to continue. Well father I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church. The priest says, "And you got upset over that and swore?" The man replied, "No, that wasn't why I swore. On the first tee I duck-hooked my drive well left into the trees." The priest said, "And that's when you swore." The man replied, a little testily because of the constant interruptions, "No, it wasn't. When I walked up the fairway, I noticed my ball got a lucky bounce and I had a clear shot to the green. However, before I could hit the ball, a squirrel ran by and grabbed my ball and scurried up a tree." The priest asked, "Is that when you said the 'F-word'?" The man replied, "No, because an eagle then flew by and caught the squirrel in its sharp talons and flew away." The priest let out a breath and queried, "Is that when you swore?" The man replied, "No, because the eagle flew over the green and the dying squirrel let go of my golf ball and it landed within 5 inches of the hole." The priest screamed, "Don't tell me you missed the f...ing putt!"
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has 74.11 % from 240 votes. More jokes about: church, fart, golf, life, priest
One night my mother in law came to our home. In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC. She farted. I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"
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has 72.84 % from 619 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, mother in law, terrorist, war
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words? Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time." Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence." Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
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has 72.00 % from 299 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, fart, little Johnny, teacher
Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.
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has 68.75 % from 298 votes. More jokes about: fart, god, insulting, money, Yo mama
What's the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
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has 67.72 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, health
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