The best fart jokes

When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me. First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her. Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
Vote: has 77.66 % from 139 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, fart, love
I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, hipster
Once upon a time, there was a very happy, long-married couple who ran a small farm. They loved each other and all, there was just one problem – the guy farted incredibly, and enjoyed ripping seriously loud ones in bed especially. The wife complained for years, pleaded – in vain. "One day, you'll spill your guts out, you mark my words!" was the lady's frequent closing warning. Then one Thanksgiving morning, gutting the turkey, she had a stroke of genius. She took all the turkey's guts and went to their bedroom and quietly slipped them under the still sleeping man's covers. "That'll teach him!" she thought with satisfaction and went back to her work. At 10 the man was still nowhere to be seen – quite shocking for a farmer – and she was starting to worry when finally her husband came down – walking a little strange, wearing an even stranger expression. "You were right about the farting, Ida," he panted, "I'm ashamed to admit that I did fart my guts out. But with the help of our Lord and these two fingers, all is right again!"
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, disgusting, fart, Thanksgiving, time
Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water? A: Swimmers are farting.
Vote: has 76.24 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, sport
Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, fart, marriage, mean, sex
Little Johnny's father farted. The son asked his father: "What was that?" His father said: "My sweet that is 'north wind'" When he went to school the teacher asked the class: "Who knows the direction of the north wind? Little Johnny shouted: "My daddy's ass!"
Vote: has 74.51 % from 2567 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dad, fart, little Johnny, school
Q: Why do farts smell? A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.
Vote: has 74.04 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels!
Vote: has 73.56 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart
regular ass (_!_) fat ass (__!__) tight ass (!) flat ass (_._) bubble ass (_^_) sore ass (_*_) lop-sided ass (_!__) swishy ass {_!_} surprised ass (_o_) ass that's been around (_O_) kiss my ass (_x_) leave my ass alone (_X_) tired ass (_zzz_) wise ass (_o^o_) unlucky ass (_13_) money out the ass (_$_) dumb ass (_?_)
Vote: has 73.31 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower. When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Tom, "I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!" Paul looks at the wall and says "What are you talkng about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"
Vote: has 73.15 % from 161 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, gay, love, sex