The best fart jokes

Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, fart, marriage, mean, sex
Once upon a time, there was a very happy, long-married couple who ran a small farm. They loved each other and all, there was just one problem – the guy farted incredibly, and enjoyed ripping seriously loud ones in bed especially. The wife complained for years, pleaded – in vain. "One day, you'll spill your guts out, you mark my words!" was the lady's frequent closing warning. Then one Thanksgiving morning, gutting the turkey, she had a stroke of genius. She took all the turkey's guts and went to their bedroom and quietly slipped them under the still sleeping man's covers. "That'll teach him!" she thought with satisfaction and went back to her work. At 10 the man was still nowhere to be seen – quite shocking for a farmer – and she was starting to worry when finally her husband came down – walking a little strange, wearing an even stranger expression. "You were right about the farting, Ida," he panted, "I'm ashamed to admit that I did fart my guts out. But with the help of our Lord and these two fingers, all is right again!"
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, disgusting, fart, Thanksgiving, time
One night my mother in law came to our home. In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC. She farted. I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"
Vote: has 76.22 % from 372 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart, mother in law, terrorist, war
My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
Vote: has 75.62 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, disgusting, fart, mother in law, war
Little Johnny's father farted. The son asked his father: "What was that?" His father said: "My sweet that is 'north wind'" When he went to school the teacher asked the class: "Who knows the direction of the north wind? Little Johnny shouted: "My daddy's ass!"
Vote: has 74.52 % from 2572 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dad, fart, little Johnny, school
Never hold in a fart; that's something an asshole would do.
Vote: has 74.43 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water? A: Swimmers are farting.
Vote: has 73.74 % from 113 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart, sport
When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me. First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her. Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
Vote: has 73.42 % from 150 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, fart, love
Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.
Vote: has 73.03 % from 230 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, god, insulting, money, Yo mama
Yo mama is so fat when she farts its noise is just a nightingale.
Vote: has 72.19 % from 135 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bird, fart, fat, Yo mama


<<<3456
More jokes →
Page 3 of 10.