Yo mama is so fat that when she died jesus couldn't lift her soul to heaven.
God is one of Chuck Norris's creation.
Vote:
Chuck Norris is like an F5 Tornado...
When you see him coming you better run for cover and pray to God he doesn't find you...
Vote:
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
Q: Why are black peoples nostrils so big?
A: Because that's what God held them by when he was painting them.
On the ninth day, God said, "Let there be soccer."
And it was good.
Later on that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence."
God said, "Let it be called the Manchester United."
Later that day, God said, "Even Man U needs idiots." So HE made their fans.
I may be a cold hearted and a unloving bitch, but I'm damn good at it
How am I driving? Call 1800-KISS-MY-ASS
I'm not an alcholic
Alcoholics go to meetings
I am a drunk
NO FAT CHICKS!
Dont laugh at my ride, your daughter may be in it!
Horn broke watch for finger
I'm not pshycotic, I cant read your mind.
Keep staring I might do a trick.
Chicks dig my ride.
I found Jesus... he was behind the coach the whole time.
I didn't sell my soal to satan...... but we did work out a rent to own deal.
Dyslexic satan worshipers think they're worshipping Santa.
I haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.
Everyone has the right to be stupid but you abuse the privlige.
I smile because I have no Idea whats going on.
Guys: just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
STOP FOLLOWING ME, I don't know where I'm going.
A blonde walked into her final exam very nervous.
But when she received the test, she was relieved to find out that it was a True or False exam.
Immediately, she reached into her purse and pulled out a coin.
Each time she flipped the coin she would write down an answer. "What are you doing?" the professor asked her.
"I'm figuring out the answers," the blonde replied.
To this, the professor just rolled his eyes and looked away.
When she was done, the professor announced that there were five minutes left to go.
"Oh my god!" she said in an excited voice, and started to flip the coin as fast as possible.
Why God did made the snake before lawyers?
To exercise.