The best god jokes

Yo mama is so fat that when she died jesus couldn't lift her soul to heaven.
Vote: has 34.72 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, fat, god, heaven, Yo mama
One day a man got on the bus and saw a nun. He started to have sexual Thoughts about her and tried to stop but she looked so good that he couldn't Stop. So once she got off the bus the man asked the bus driver if he knew Where she was going. The bus driver said to meet the nun at the church at 8:0op.m dressed like jesus. He went there dressed like jesus. This Surprised the nun and she asked him what she needed to do and he said have anal sex with him. Afterwards, the man said I have a confession to make and he told her he wasn't jesus but the man on the bus. The nun then said she had a confession also. She was the busdriver..
Vote: has 34.70 % from 73 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, sex, time
What do u call a black priest? Holy shit.
Vote: has 34.54 % from 81 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, god, priest
God is one of Chuck Norris's creation.
Vote: has 33.28 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
Daughter: Mom,does God go to bathroom? Mom: Why? my child.. Daughter: Today in the morning I heard papa said, "Please God let me go to the bathroom..."
Vote: has 29.10 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, life
What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better.
Vote: has 27.24 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, men
Teacher: Now, Ramu, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Ramu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Vote: has 26.95 % from 83 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, god, school, teacher
A Preacher and a lawyer both go to heaven at the same time and the Preacher receives his gifts that he had expected and he sees that the lawyer gets this big house and pool. The Peacher asked God: "Why is it that I get the things I've wanted, but the lawyer gets all that?" God Replied: "He is the first lawyer to make it into Heaven."
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, heaven, lawyer
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
Vote: has 24.60 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, god
There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now." Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole." "My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him. "That must've been terrible!" "It was," he said. "All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again..."
Vote: has 24.11 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: game, god, golf, sport, wife


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