A Preacher and a lawyer both go to heaven at the same time and the Preacher receives his gifts that he had expected and he sees that the lawyer gets this big house and pool. The Peacher asked God: "Why is it that I get the things I've wanted, but the lawyer gets all that?" God Replied: "He is the first lawyer to make it into Heaven."
Q: Why Are black peoples hands and feet white? A: When God painted them he told them to assume the position
Why did God give women belly buttons? For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.
One day a man got on the bus and saw a nun. He started to have sexual Thoughts about her and tried to stop but she looked so good that he couldn't Stop. So once she got off the bus the man asked the bus driver if he knew Where she was going. The bus driver said to meet the nun at the church at 8:0op.m dressed like jesus. He went there dressed like jesus. This Surprised the nun and she asked him what she needed to do and he said have anal sex with him. Afterwards, the man said I have a confession to make and he told her he wasn't jesus but the man on the bus. The nun then said she had a confession also. She was the busdriver..
What do u call a black priest? Holy shit.
God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.
Daughter: Mom,does God go to bathroom? Mom: Why? my child.. Daughter: Today in the morning I heard papa said, "Please God let me go to the bathroom..."
There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now." Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole." "My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him. "That must've been terrible!" "It was," he said. "All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again..."
Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
God is one of Chuck Norris's creation.