The best hunting jokes

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, we have to be sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: death, hunting, phone
A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: cop, hunting
A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out. "Good God!" exclaimed the hunter. Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, "I thought you don't believe in me." The hunter replied, "Up until now I didn't believe in 1,000-pound deer either."
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, hunting, religious
A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before. "It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted. Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag. "Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter. "All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting, money, time
A deer hunter just messed up another hunt. This happened to him more times than he could count. He would spot a buck, aim, fire and miss. He would sneak up close just to get busted and watch the deer run away. He would sneeze just as the buck came into range. He would fall asleep on the stand, waking in time to watch a giant buck scamper away. Frustrated, he complained to his hunting buddies. "Everything that happens to guys that don't know how to hunt keeps happening to me!" he said.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting, work
Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter? It sure gave them something to chew over.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: black humor, hunting
A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dinosaur, hunting
Q: Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs? A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, easter, hunting
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. "Well, go in the bushes." "What should I use to wipe my ass?" "Use a dollar bill." A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, hunting, money
Demons don't hunt Chuck Norris... He is hunting them!
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has 45.35 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, hunting
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