Joke #10008

Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.

What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.

What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad!

Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.

During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"

How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...

Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.

A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."

What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.

What did the dog say to the hot dog bun? "Are you pure bred?"

Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.