Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
To the calf-ateria.
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Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine.
He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself.
Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
Two cows were talking in the field.
One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?"
The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?
A polo bear.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.
Why do moths fly with their legs open?
Cause they've got huge mothballs!
Q: What's long and thin and covered with skin and nobody knows how many holes its been in.
A: A worm.
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it."
He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on."
She shrugs and walks away.
Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called."