Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
To the calf-ateria.
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Ronnie goes to the auction.
He notices a parrot that was on auction.
Ronnie decides to bid for it and so Ronnie starts off with 50 Dollars.
Auctioneer: 50 Dollars
Voice: 100 Dollars
Ronnie: 200 Dollars
Voice: 300 Dollars
Ronnie: 400 Dollars
Voice: 750 Dollars
Ronnie: 800 Dollars
Auctioneer 800 going once, twice and the parrot is sold.
Ronnie to the Auctioneer "I hope this Parrot can speak as I have spent a lot of money on it."
Auctioneer Laughing: "Who do you think was Bidding against you.
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?
He was always standing up on the job!
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
What fur do we get from a tiger?
As fur as possible!
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat?
Thistle have to do.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.
What does an octopus take on a camping trip?
Tentacles.
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
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A skunk and a rabbit were running through the woods and accidentally they collided with each other. They both got amnesia from the crash.
"Who am I? What am I?" said the rabbit confused.
"Well, you're one such... with a short tail, long ears..."
"I guess!" shouted the rabbit, "I'm a rabbit!"
"And what am I?" asked the skunk.
"Ah! Yes. You're one such hairy, smelly, with a strip in the middle..."
"Wow!", yelled the skunk, "Probably I'm an ass!"