Joke #10771

Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, divorce

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Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
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has 75.37 % from 266 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, divorce, sport
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, divorce, marriage
Dog rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, it's yours.
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has 53.84 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal
Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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has 62.79 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, divorce, money
Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting. On landing, the pilot says, "Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and ONE bear." The hunters go out and return with two bears. So the pilot says, "I told you ONE bear!" But the hunters point out that the previous year, on payment of an extra 100 rubles, the pilot had let them put two bears on board. After long discussion centering on the impossibility of the thing and the disgraceful degree of inflation, the pilot takes 200 rubles and with much pushing and shoving the hunters get aboard with the two bears. After struggling into the air and fitfully flying for about two hours, the plane gives up and plummets to the earth in a snowbank. Climbing out from under the snow and the bears, the hunters ask the pilot where he thinks they are. The pilot says, "About the same place where we crashed last year."
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has 79.10 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: airplane, animal, hunting, life, travel
Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? A: He thought his wife was a flake.
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has 25.64 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage, wife
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer? A lot of bites.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, IT
Me: What do you call someone who isn't sure if they like egg nog or not? Wife: What? Me: An Eggnogstic. Wife: This is grounds for divorce.
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: divorce, life, wife