Joke #10771

Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, divorce

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Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
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has 74.87 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, divorce, sport
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
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has 69.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, divorce, marriage
Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."
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has 58.27 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
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has 69.95 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
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has 34.94 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: divorce, women
How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
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has 13.02 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, dog
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, teen
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat? He had to get a new goat.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal