Joke #10771

Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!

Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."

Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.

Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.

Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.

I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over. "You've given me one too many" I said. "That one is a freebie"

How do you confuse a frog? Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.

Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.

Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.

Doctor: "And how is it going with your old ailment, Mr Smith?" Patient: "Very well, I've been divorced for half a year now."