Why are cows made for dancing?
They re all born hoofers.
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Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit.
We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly."
"How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?
Squid pro quo.
Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?
A red jellyfish.
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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I was hiking once with my girlfriend.
Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad.
We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me.
One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took.
I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
A: He was having a bad hare day!
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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