Why are cows made for dancing?
They re all born hoofers.
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If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was.
One day she argued with a lion.
The next day was the first of June.
Why?
Because that was the end of May!
A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: "Purebred Police Dog $25."
Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered.
The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen.
In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad, "How dare you call that mangy-mutt a purebred police dog?"
"Don't let his looks deceive you, ma'am," the man replied, "He's in the Secret Service."
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church.
He got colt feet.
What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?
A red jellyfish.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He tractor down.