Joke #3346

Q: What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school? A: Bison.
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has 69.67 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.
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The old mosquito puts the little baby’s to bed and tells them: If you are good, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the nudists.
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What did one dairy cow say to another? Got milk?
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Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
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A panda walks into a bar, sits down and order a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for Panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy goes out one day, hunting for bear. After a few hours in the forest, he finally sees a giant grizzly. He gets the bear in the rifle's sight and is about to pull the trigger when he feels a tap on his shoulder. It's another bear. 'Buddy,' the bear says, 'that's my best friend down there. I can rip your head off right now, or you can suck my dick. What's it gonna be?' Fearing for his life, the hunter says 'I'll suck your dick, Mr. Bear.' The next day, hungry for revenge, the hunter returns to the woods and sees the same bear. But as soon as he lines up the bear in his sights, he feels a tap on his shoulder. 'Buddy,' says the bear. 'Today, I can rip your head off or you can fuck me in the ass.' Again fearing for his life, the hunter replies, 'I'll fuck you in the ass Mr.Bear.' The next day, furious at what has happened to him, the hunter returns to the forest in order to kill same bear. Once again, he gets the bear in his rifle sights when he feels a tap on his shoulder. The bear shakes his head at the hunter and says, 'You don't come here for the hunting do you?'
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has 79.12 % from 682 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, sex
There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him. Eventually, the bears went away. Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble. Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!
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has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, time
What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
My tomcat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered. Now he still stays out all night – it turns out he likes to watch!
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal