Q: What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school?
A: Bison.
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There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods...
Cats have never forgotten this.
Here's proof that Cats are smarter than dogs...
You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.Dogs believe they are human.
Cats believe they are God!
Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel.
I got rid of my husband.
The cat was allergic.My husband said it was him or the cat...
I miss him sometimes.
Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?
A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs?
A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
What's at the end of Moby Dick?
A whale of a time.
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?
A hermit crab.
Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot?
Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.
The male worm towards the female worm:
Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
As horses say to one another.
Any friend of yours is a palomino!