Q: What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school?
A: Bison.
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What is a cow's favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools.
Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?
A: He was looking for pooh!
Tom was walking down the street when he sees a funeral procession.
At the head was the casket, behind was a man walking a very large dog and behind him were 300 people.
Tom walks over to the guy with the dog and asks who’s funeral is this?
The man answers, “My mother-in-law’s.”
Tom wishes his condolences and asks, “She must of been a very important person, but what’s with the dog?”
He answers, “This is the dog that killed her!”
So Tom asks, “can I borrow the dog for an hour?”
He responds, “Get on line!”
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur.
"One spur?" asked the saddler.
"Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?"
"No, just one," replied the horseman.
"If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
Why do police dogs lick their balls?
To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
Never mind, it stinks.
Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk.
Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."
The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."