Q: What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school?
A: Bison.
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Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee.
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
(A drizzly bear!)
How to catch a polar bear:
Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond.
Cut a large hole in the ice.
Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file.
Hide behind a nearby rock.
When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!
What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider?
A harenet.
Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
Claws.
What do you call fish poop?
BassTurds!
What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long?
A πthon.
A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing.
The gorilla roared, "Who is the king of the jungle?" and the deer replied,
"Oh, you are, Master."
The gorilla walked off pleased.
Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole.
The gorilla roared, "Who is the king of the jungle?"
The zebra replied, "Oh, you are, Master."
The gorilla walked off pleased.
Then he came across an elephant.
"Who is the king of the jungle?" he roared.
With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him.
The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, "Okay, okay, there’s no need to get mad just because you don’t know the answer."