Why do polo bears like bald men? Because they have a great, white, bear place.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.
Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.
What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat? Shipped beef.
What's a rabbits favorite song? "Hoppy Birthday to You."
How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
What's a teddy bears favourite pasta? Tagliateddy.
Why did the frog walk across the road? He didn't... he jumped.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"