Joke #1007

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
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has 50.59 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting

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Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
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has 83.11 % from 313 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, morbid, sex
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
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has 77.75 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, food, relationship
A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby. The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me." "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man. "No way, you're disgusting, go away." The homeless man turns and starts walking away. The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?" The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."
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has 77.51 % from 297 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, black humor, disgusting, life, sex
Q: How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof? A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
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has 66.77 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
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has 64.94 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, light bulb, morbid
What has more brains than a dead baby? The wall behind it.
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has 63.75 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
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has 61.96 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends how hard you throw them.
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has 60.65 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: dead baby, disgusting
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: I don't know, I just like to hear them scream. Q: How do you get them out? A: Chips.
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has 59.50 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid