How did that bullfight come out?
Oh, it was a toss-up.
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What do you call an ugly rabbit that sits on someone's forehead?
Unsightly facial hare.
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court.
The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?"
"Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear.
He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge.
"On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me."
"Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said,
"I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?
A stinkasaurus.
What did the cow wear to the football game?
A Jersey.
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him...
Get away from my nuts.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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How would you get four reindeer in a car?
Two in the front and two in the back.
And how do you get four polar bears in a car?
Take the reindeer out first.