How did that bullfight come out?
Oh, it was a toss-up.
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A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey.
The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot.
So the little lizard climbed up the tree.
The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint.
The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth.
Well there is a river just down there.
So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water.
All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water.
Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monkey."
"Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some."
He is through the brush and up the tree.
So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree.
The monkey said "holy shit how much did you drink little buddy."
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night.
All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out.
"Jesus is gonna get you."
The robber ignored it, and takes the TV.
Again, the parrot cries out.
"Jesus is gonna get you."
The robber started to get a little worried.
"What's your name, birdie?"
"Moses."
"What dumbass named you Moses?"
"The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
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Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?"
Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
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What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hi, honey."
Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
Because they are both tail bearers.
What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
What book did the rabbit take on vacation?
One with a hoppy ending.
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right?
Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla".
Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.