Joke #10004

Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal

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An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his. They had not seen each other for many years so they had much to talk about and many old memories to renew. After some time, one said to the other, "If you don’t mind my saying so, you don’t look very good, you must have experienced some bad luck." "Yes," the other one said, "I have. You see this peg leg? Well, one day I was out on deck and my leg become dangled up in a loose line and it was so badly mangled that they had to take it off at the knee." His friend agreed that was bad luck. The other one continued. "You see I have a hook for a hand. One day I was out on deck when a shipmate of mine fell overboard. I leaned over as far as I could in a attempt to rescue him and as I extended my hand to him a shark took my hand off." "My, you really did experience bad luck, the other responded, I see you have a patch over one eye, What happened to your eye?" "Well, I was out on deck again one day and just as I looked up, a seagull that was flying over , unloaded, and got me right in the eye." "My, My,(not real sailor talk) did that take your eye out?" "No, that was the first day I had my hook."
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has 80.86 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, health, life
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion? A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?" "Because theres to many cheetahs."
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, game
Q: What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? A: One says "See you later" and the other says "In a while".
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, time
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery? A: Because it gets you nowhere.
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has 58.98 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? A: He was having a bad hare day!
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, easter
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar. He turned to the astonished patrons and said, "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute." He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink. The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up at the end of the bar and a woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle."
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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has 58.18 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck