Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case.
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A passenger train is creeping along, slowly.
Finally it creaks to a halt.
A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.
"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.
Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walk again.
She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers?
A: They have two left feet.
Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack.
Yo mama is so stupid, when I offered her animal crackers she said no thanks, I'm a vegetarian.
What do you call fish poop?
BassTurds!
What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?
The Lizard of Oz.
Q: Why didn't Republicans save any of the black New Orleans residents from the flooding of Hurricane Katrina?
A: They were busy trying to get two of each animal for their ark first and couldn't catch that damned roadrunner.
Vote:
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station?
Because it's a mane-lion station.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."