Joke #10004

Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys." Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. "That was amazing," exclaimed the coach. "I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?" "Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, football, Thanksgiving
How far can a rabbit run into the woods? Halfway. After that she's running out of the woods.
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has 49.97 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: animal
Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time. When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
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has 71.97 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, food, military
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, wife
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
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has 60.84 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do rabbits get to work? By rabbit transit.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
Q: why did the cow cross the road? A: So he could pass the milkyway.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully. "He’s a martyr now though" mum confides. "Oh, so sad, dear" says the other. "And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21." "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born." "He’s a martyr too" says mum quietly. "Oh, gracious me…" says the other. "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers. "Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "He’s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don’t they?"
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has 59.42 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, black humor, food