Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case.
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"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?"
"I believe he's eating your lettuce."
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic!
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades.
Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.
Q: Why do fish live in to the salt water?
A: For the reason that pepper makes them sneeze!
Q. Why are fish so smart?
Q. Why are fish so smart
A. Because they swim in schools!
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A: A milk shake.
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.