Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case.
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Teacher: Give me an example of animal. Jimmy: Frog Teacher: Give me another. Jimmy: Another Frog.
Q: What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.