Joke #10004

Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

When is the best time to fake an orgasm? When a rottweiler is humping your leg.
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
The judge: Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association? The inculpated: Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, family, hunting, lawyer
"Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and couldn't see you there." "That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "It was MY fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?" "Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "Since I'm blind, I've never seen myself. Perhaps you could examine me and then we'll both know?" So the snake felt the bunny all over and said, "Well, you're soft and cuddly; you have long silky ears, a fluffy little tail and a twitchy little nose... you must be a bunny rabbit!" The little blind bunny was so pleased with this that he danced with joy. The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough. What kind of animal are you, sir?" The snake said he didn't know, for the same reason. The bunny agreed to examine him, and when he finished the snake asked, "So, what kind of animal am I?" The bunny said, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy, and you haven't got any balls. You must be a lawyer."
Vote: has 83.37 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, health, lawyer
One day a magical frog sees a bear chasing after a rabbit for dinner. In an attempt to bring peace to his magical forest, the frog hops up to the two and promises them 3 wishes each if they stop this violence. After both animals agreed, the frog chooses the bear to state his first wish, first. After thinking for a while, the bear says, "I wish for all the bears in this forest to be female except me." Next is the rabbit's turn, "I wish for a motorcycle helmet," he says. The bear laughed, what an idiotic wish to make he thought to himself. The bear then says, "I wish for all the bears in this country to be female except me." The rabbit next says, "I wish for a motorcycle that requires no gas." The bear, almost tearing from laughter, says, "You could have wished for money to get those two things!" He then proceeds to make his final wish, after thinking for a while, he says to the frog, "I wish for all the bears in the world to be female except for me!" He smiles smugly. The rabit then puts on his helmet, hops on his motorcycle, grins to the bear and says, "I wish for this bear to be gay."
Vote: has 72.17 % from 98 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, gay, money
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car, travel
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,  "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
Vote: has 79.66 % from 119 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, sex, wife, work
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
Vote: has 69.85 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, democrat
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud.
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food
Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
Vote: has 29.51 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal