Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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Once chuck norris and time had race.
Result: The time is still running.
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Once Chuck Norris went back in time and kicked a ball.
When it landed it wiped out the dinosaurs.
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While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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One evening a old man is traveling at 70mph in a 30mh zone a little further down the road.
A police car pulls him over and tells him "I've been following you for 5 minutes and you kept accelerating."
The police officer says to the speeder "I finish my shift in 2 minutes. If you can give me an excuse I haven't heard before I will let you go as it will save me any paper work."
The speeder replies "My wife ran away with a police officer 3 years ago, I thought you were bringing her back."
The police officer returns to his patrol car and drives a way.
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
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Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
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Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
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