Joke #8562

While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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has 83.77 % from 374 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, holiday, sport, travel

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Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!" Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?" "No, sweetheart," she responds. Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?" "Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says. "One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks. "Oh, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther. "I didn’t send that one, either." Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years. Esther pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?" Abe answers, "They’ll find us!"
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has 85.48 % from 225 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, holiday, money, travel
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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has 85.39 % from 1495 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, travel
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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has 85.06 % from 1940 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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has 84.96 % from 1431 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
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has 83.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
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has 82.92 % from 316 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time, travel
Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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has 82.53 % from 578 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
In France, Chuck Norris accidentally won Tour de France by exercise bike.
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has 79.27 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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has 79.12 % from 289 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
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has 78.51 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, travel