Joke #10099

A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?" "Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"
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has 62.04 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded. One day a woman knocked at his door. “Is that your big dog outside?” Wondering how she had got past him he said: “Yes why?” She said "I’m sorry but my dog just killed him!” “What?” Roared the man “What kind of dog have you got?” “A Peke” Replied the woman. “A Peke? How could that little thing kill my big fine guard dog?” “I think it got stuck in his throat!” replied the woman.
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has 81.11 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, dog, women
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
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has 54.06 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog. After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man. However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner. The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction. He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him. The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash. He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck. By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated. As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf. She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him. The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
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has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, desert island, dog, time
Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse? A: An Arab mechanic.
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has 60.02 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: animal, mechanic, racist
Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"
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has 28.11 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house. Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler. 'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter? He didn't have the hare fare.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, easter
What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers? Tyrannosaurus Hex.
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal