Joke #10099

A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?" "Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
Vote: has 45.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, love
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, love
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fat, food, Yo mama
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?" "Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves." "You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!" "Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?" "I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!" "Help me please, please help!"
Vote: has 74.04 % from 83 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cat, death, parrot
What happened when the shark became famous? He tured into a starfish.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Q: What goes "oom... oom"? A: A cow walking backward!
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, communication
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, “Come on, a dog?” The owner says, “How about a cat?” The man replies, “No way! A cat certainly can’t do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!” The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, “I’ve got it! A centipede!” The man says, “A centipede? I can’t imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay… I’ll try a centipede.” He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, “Clean the kitchen.” Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and… it’s immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away the counter-tops cleaned the appliances sparkling the floor waxed. He’s absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, “Go clean the living room.” Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed the furniture cleaned and dusted the pillows on the sofa plumped, plants watered. The man thinks to himself, “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!” Next he says to the centipede, “Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper.” The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later…no centipede. 20 minutes later… no centipede. 30 minutes later… no centipede. By this point the man is wondering what’s going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later… still no centipede! He can’t imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where is that centipede? So he goes to the front door, opens it…and there’s the centipede sitting right outside. The man says, “Hey! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What’s the matter?!” The centipede says, “I’m goin’! I’m goin’! I’m just puttin’ on my shoes!”
Vote: has 75.25 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car, dog, time
If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fish, life
What hair style is a calf's favorite? The cowlick.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal