A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers.
He noticed a bull nearby.
Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?"
"Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"
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Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully!
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.
He says, “What the hell is that all about?”
The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
They both wear stripes.
What do you get from a cowmedian?
Cream of Wit.
A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull."
The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on.
"If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick."
The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?"
The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."