Joke #10099

A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?" "Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"
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has 78.77 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal

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That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
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A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
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Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller, Jesus."
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has 76.85 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
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Lara Rabbit: "Do you think that's Sophie's natural color?" Zara Rabbit: "Only her hare dresser knows for sure."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
Lion wakes up in the jungle and finds that a tool is missing, he goes to elephant and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Elephant replies: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Elephant: "Sorry, I haven't seen it, try mouse." So the Lion goes to the mouse and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Mouse: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Mouse: "Sorry mate, I've not seen it, try croc." So the lion proceeds to the crocodile and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Croc: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Croc: "Sorry I've not seen it, try Jaguar." So the lion goes to Jaguar and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Jaguar: "Of course, I ate it." Lion: "Why did you do that?" Jaguar: "Well I'm a four point tool eater Jaguar."
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What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
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What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud.
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