A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?" "Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"
How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world. Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.
First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way? Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
What looks like half a cat? The other half.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.