A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers.
He noticed a bull nearby.
Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?"
"Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"
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What is the slowest racehorse in the world?
A clotheshorse.
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty.
He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped again.
He was frightened.
Frantically, he looked all around.
In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller, Jesus."
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?"
Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
When should you feel sorry for a skunk?
When its spray pump is out of order!.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy.“
Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
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