A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers.
He noticed a bull nearby.
Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?"
"Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"
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A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off.
He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum.
As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?"
The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips."
The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure.
The cowboy said, "Nope.
But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"
Did you find my horse well behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon?
A hare dare.
What did one dairy cow say to another?
Got milk?
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A steak-out.
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A: A milk shake.
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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What does an octopus wear on a cold day?
A coat of arms.