Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?" "Because theres to many cheetahs."
A snail and a slug got in a crash. When the police, ambulances and news reporters arrived, a reporter asked a tortoise what happened. He replied: "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
How does a leopard change its spots? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef.
How far can a rabbit run into the woods? Halfway. After that she's running out of the woods.
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig. The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, “This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!” The farmer looked puzzled and replied, “What’s time to a pig?”