Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films?
He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
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What’s the difference between cats and dogs?
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
She thought children should be seen and not herded!
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
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I've been trying to find the right time to tell my pet hes adopted...
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?
He was always standing up on the job!
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it?
Major Bumsore.
A mans dog dies one day, and the man is very upset.
His dog did everything for him.
Washed the dishes.
Bought things from the shop.
The man was so upset, he decided to go and buy a new pet.
Once at the pet store, he asked the manager, "Do you have any pets that will do anything for me? My dog has just passed away and I want something to replace him."
The manager looks around.
"We don't have much, I'm afraid. Just this centipede here"
The man looks puzzled, but accepts the centipede anyway.
Back home, the man tests the centipede out.
"Go and bring me a beer from the fridge", he asks.
The centipede got to work straight away.
"Go and run a bath for me.“
The centipede did as asked once again.
The man, before getting in the bath, asks the centipede "Pop to the shop and buy me a newspaper please.“
The centipede does this.
An hour later, the man comes out of the bath, to find the centipede sitting at the bottom of the stairs, and hadn't yet gone to the shop.
"I thought I told you to go to the shop?"
The centipede replies "GIMMIE A CHANCE TO GET MI SHOES ON!"